


Someone Like You

by Bexless



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-15
Updated: 2011-05-15
Packaged: 2017-10-19 10:56:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/200073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bexless/pseuds/Bexless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“But Adam,” said Sauli, because he really felt it ought to be addressed, “can we talk about how there are two of you?”</p><p>“It’s a long story,” said other Adam, swooping in to put his arm around Sauli’s shoulders. “Why don’t we discuss it over a nice warm bed?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Someone Like You

**Author's Note:**

> Ridiculous crack, but warning for possible consent triggers. Not Adam/Adam/Sauli, more Adam(Adam/Sauli), just so you're aware.
> 
> A million thanks to Cimness and Wax Jism for betaing and Finnberting! Bests!

“No,” said Adam when Sauli tried to get out of bed. He held Sauli closer.

Sauli laughed and fought him. “I have to pee!”

“Ugh, fine,” said Adam, releasing him. “But hurry.”

Sauli rolled back to Adam and kissed the tip of his nose. “I promise.”

Adam smiled into the pillow, his eyes still closed.

Sauli got out of the bed and padded over to the bathroom. He opened the door, and then blinked twice, but no, his eyes weren’t crazy, there was a man standing there.

Sauli stared at him. The man stared back.

“Well, hel _lo_ ,” he said, giving Sauli an appreciative once-over. He was tall, and really handsome, with jet black hair and twinkly blue eyes and a spectacular smile. But he couldn’t be Adam, because Adam was in bed – no, actually, Adam was hovering over Sauli’s shoulder wringing his hands.

“Also,” said Sauli, out loud but mostly to himself, “Adam doesn’t have a beard.”

“He wishes he could pull this off,” said the man in the bathroom, smirking.

Adam huffed. “I can and have and will again,” he said, and pushed past Sauli. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Don’t get bitchy with me, sweetpea, I was just minding my own business putting the finishing touches to my death ray when the floor did that swirly thing and here I am.”

“Shit,” Adam moaned, slumping against the counter. “This is such horrible timing.”

“Seems pretty perfect to me!” Bathroom Guy sang, and came over to offer Sauli his hand. “Hi, gorgeous, what’s your name?”

“Sauli,” said Sauli, automatically taking his hand and shaking it.

“I’m Adam,” said...Adam, and didn’t let go of Sauli’s hand. “Somebody’s been busy,” he said, over his shoulder to Adam but without breaking eye contact with Sauli. That was interesting; Sauli had seen Adam do that trick too.

“ _I’m_ Adam,” said Adam, stalking over to them and forcibly removing Sauli’s hand from the other guy’s grip. “And you may absolutely not touch him at all.”

“You never could learn to share your toys,” said Bathroom Adam, at the same time as Sauli said, “Hey, I think I can decide if he touches me or not.”

Adam ignored his other self and said firmly, “No. This isn’t me being jealous or overbearing or getting too clingy, baby, this is me protecting you from my evil doppelganger. I’m going to have to insist on this one.”

“Oh, ‘evil’,” said other Adam, and rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic.”

“Me dramatic!” said Adam. “You once showed up wearing a cape!”

“Capes are cool.”

“You had a cane with which to scatter the doormen!”

“I have doormen to scatter!” said other Adam. “It’s not my fault you don’t see fit to equip yourself with a proper staff. Or wardrobe.”

“My wardrobe,” Adam said icily, “is fucking _fabulous_ , and I’ll thank you not to insult it again.”

Other Adam maintained his arch expression for a minute, then relented and nodded his head. “You’re right,” he said. “I went too far.”

“But Adam,” said Sauli, because he really felt it ought to be addressed, “can we talk about how there are two of you?”

“It’s a long story,” said other Adam, swooping in to put his arm around Sauli’s shoulders. “Why don’t we discuss it over a nice warm bed?”

“He’s a mad scientist in a parallel universe and he accidentally invented a thing that makes a portal between worlds,” said Adam, extracting Sauli and wrapping his own arms around his waist. “Except it’s not stable or whatever and so now occasionally he gets thrown through it and gives me shit for a while before he disappears again.”

“Inadvertently, not accidentally,” said other Adam, holding one long finger up in the air. “And I’m not a mad scientist. I’m Professor Adam Lambert: wildly successful businessman, Nobel Prize-winning physicist, and superb lover.”

“So you’re not complete opposites,” said Sauli.

“Awww!” said Adam beaming down at him. Sauli stretched up to give him a kiss.

“If you’re not going to share,” said other Adam in a bored voice, “you could at least offer me a drink.”

***

“So where did he find you?” Professor Lambert asked, sitting a little too close to Sauli on the couch.

(Sauli had taken to calling him Professor Lambert because it was too difficult to keep two Adams straight in his head. Actually it was impossible to keep one Adam straight anywhere.)

“What?” said Adam and the Professor at the same time, when Sauli laughed out loud.

“Nothing,” he said, and laughed some more at their matching curious faces.

“As I was saying,” Professor Lambert went on, “I would definitely have remembered you. Where did you spring from?”

“We met in Helsinki, which is absolutely all I am telling you,” said Adam, and came over with a drink for both of them. “Here you go, baby.”

“Thank you,” said Sauli. Adam settled down next to him and not-at-all-subtly drew him closer, away from the Professor. Sauli grinned into his glass.

Professor Lambert rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink. “Mmm,” he said. “Perfect.”

“Duh,” said Adam, but Sauli thought he looked pleased.

“So you’re Adam too,” said Sauli to the Professor. “But a genius.”

“Hey!” said Adam. “You don’t think I’m a genius?”

“Of course,” said Sauli, resting a comforting hand on his knee. Thigh. Inner thigh. Whatever. “But not for science.”

“No,” Adam said dolefully.

“If you want me to write out the periodic table from memory, I can,” said Professor Lambert, waggling his eyebrows. “And chemistry isn’t even my main discipline!”

“That’s not as sexy as you think it is,” said Adam.

Professor Lambert smirked. “It is if I do it with my tongue.”

“Like when I tried to teach you Finnish,” said Sauli to Adam.

Adam’s eyes glazed over. “That was a great day.”

“I’ll bet I could top it,” said the Professor, sidling closer.

“Mine,” said Adam, and pushed him back.

“You’re mean,” Professor Lambert complained. “I thought I was supposed to be the evil one!”

“You _are_ the evil one!” said Adam. “Didn’t you say you were building a _death ray_?”

Professor Lambert waved his hand. “I’m not going to use it, for Christ’s sake. It’s just a prototype.”

“A prototype _death ray_ ,” said Adam.

“I just wanted to see if I could, you know?” Professor Lambert said to Sauli.

“Sure,” Sauli said. “But what does a death ray do, exactly?”

“Well, Sauli, I’m glad you asked,” said the Professor, putting his drink down and spreading his hands. “See, the prevailing theory is that energy can’t be created or destroyed, only transferred, so I thought-”

Adam cleared his throat.

Professor Lambert kind of scowled, but then picked up his drink again. “I shoot it at people and they die.”

“But don’t guns do that?”

“Sure,” said the Professor, smiling in a way that made him look kind of like a shark. “But if I’m going to be President before I’m forty, I need to make sure nobody ever finds the bodies.”

Sauli’s spine tingled unpleasantly. He shifted back into Adam’s solid warmth.

“He’s joking,” said Adam, kissing the top of Sauli’s head. “I think.”

“Am I,” said Professor Lambert airily. Then, “So! Are you the biggest musical act in the world yet?”

“He was nominated for a Grammy!” Sauli burst out, bouncing in place a little. “I was there when he found out. It was so awesome!”

Professor Lambert raised an eyebrow. “Nominated,” he said.

Adam’s hand tightened on Sauli’s knee. “For my first album,” he said through gritted teeth. “Which is actually pretty fucking amazing.”

“Sure,” said the Professor easily. “If you manage your expectations accordingly.”

“Don’t start-”

“I’m just trying to make sure you reach your potential-”

“Fuck you, potential, I sold out a world tour, I bought my mom a condo-”

“-by the time I was twenty-four I had already-”

“I _know_ what you had already,” said Adam, kind of yelling now. Sauli made a soothing noise and touched Adam’s face, wanting to look at his eyes. Adam glared at the Professor some more, but then pressed his cheek into Sauli’s hand, turning to face him.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay,” said Sauli. He pressed a kiss to Adam’s mouth.

“He just drives me crazy with this shit. The first time he showed up, he’d just been on the cover of Time magazine as the youngest genius billionaire king of the world or whatever, and I was between crappy theatre jobs and hung over. Not my best day ever.”

“You had that enchanting little sprite of a boyfriend,” Professor Lambert reminded him.

Adam hesitated, and then his face split into a smile, the soft one that meant he was remembering something nice. Sauli loved that smile. “Yeah,” Adam said.

Sauli looked at the Professor. “You didn’t have a Brad?”

“No,” said the Professor briskly, and changed the subject to, “how’s your family?”

They traded information back and forth for a while: Professor Lambert didn’t mention his parents, but his Neil was part of a cult that lived in the desert and worshipped a moon-calf god, or something.

“So weird,” said Adam.

“He calls me every week, at least,” said the Professor. “He changed his name again.”

“Oh yeah? What to this time?”

“Star,” said Professor Lambert in a pained voice.

“Jesus,” said Adam, and knocked back half his drink in one swallow.

A couple of hours later, when Sauli had heard all about how the other universe had teleporters (“Thanks to me,” Professor Lambert said smugly,) but half the world was in quarantine because of a terrible nuclear accident (“ _Not_ thanks to me,” Professor Lambert snapped, clearly offended when Sauli gave him a suspicious glance) both Adam and Professor Lambert started checking their watches.

“What is it?” Sauli wanted to know.

“He’s usually gone by now,” said Adam.

Professor Lambert pulled out what looked kind of like an iPhone, but no thicker than a credit card, and tapped at the screen a few times. “Yes,” he said, frowning, “our longest visit until now has never exceeded two hours.”

They sat around and waited a while longer, but the Professor didn’t seem to be going anywhere, and Sauli was starting to fall asleep on Adam’s shoulder.

“Come on,” said Adam, hauling him to his feet. To his double he said, “You can sleep in the guest room.”

Sauli helped Adam find sweatpants and a T-shirt and a toothbrush and things for Professor Lambert, who was sitting on the edge of the guest bed looking a little lost.

“Thanks,” he said, when Sauli handed him the bundle of clothes. He looked down at them for a minute, then kind of shook himself, pulling his confident smirk back on. “I’m assuming I’ll be gone by morning, so perhaps you’ll allow me to express what an absolute pleasure it’s been to meet you, Sauli.”

“You too,” said Sauli, which wasn’t precisely true, but Sauli was raised to be polite. Professor Lambert looked kind of like he might grab Sauli and tumble him down onto the bed at any moment, so Sauli escaped back to the doorway and his own Adam, who was standing there looking irritated and confused. “Um, goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” said Professor Lambert. Adam just kind of nodded at him, then closed the door.

“So,” said Sauli when he and Adam were in bed. “You have an evil doppelganger from another world.”

Adam winced. “Yeah,” he said, kind of hopelessly.

“Mmm,” said Sauli. “I don’t want you to be upset, okay, but really this isn’t even the strangest thing about you.”

“Drake said the same thing!” Adam cried, sitting up in bed. “Am I really that weird?”

“Not weird,” said Sauli. He looked around for the English word, but he wasn’t sure. “It’s more like there is only one of you. In this world, I mean. So it’s not so strange to me that another world has you too, as it is strange that you exist at all.”

Adam got the blank, distracted look on his face that meant he was trying to work something out in his head. Math, usually, but this time Sauli’s sentence.

“I mean strange in a really great way,” Sauli said helpfully. “Like a miracle, you know.”

“A miracle,” Adam repeated, and kind of laughed, then rolled on top of Sauli, so they ended up nose to nose. “Have I told you today how completely crazy I am about you?”

“Yes,” said Sauli, winding his arms around Adam’s neck. “But you can tell me again.”

“And again,” said Adam, kissing his way down Sauli’s neck, “and again,” over his chest, “and again,” down to his belly and hips.

“Is it weird to do this with the other you in the guest room?” Sauli wondered aloud.

“I’ve done weirder,” said Adam, and moved lower still, and then Sauli wasn’t talking anymore.

***

In the morning, much to Adam’s disgust, his double was still in the house.

Professor Lambert wasn’t thrilled about it either. “This is ridiculous!” he ranted, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. Sauli and Adam were eating breakfast and watching him. “The science in this godforsaken universe is so unspeakably backwards that I doubt I can even find out what’s causing the delay. That’s if I could get to a computer that can do more than photoshop different hairstyles onto a picture of me, which I doubt, because you had to go and be a famous rockstar who nobody is going to want to talk to about theoretical physics.”

“I’ll bet I have fans who are physicists,” said Adam. He ate a slice of apple. “I can ask on my website.”

“Your fans,” Professor Lambert sneered. “Right, as if anyone who spends their time squealing over _you_ has a halfway useful brain between their ears.”

“Hey!” said Adam, and got up from the table. “Not cool, asshole, take that back.”

“Oh, what are you going to do,” the Professor drawled. “Hit me?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time, would it?” said Adam, and shoved the Professor across the room, hard enough that his head knocked against the fridge with a thump.

“Adam,” said Sauli.

“Careful,” said the Professor, grinning kind of crazily. “You don’t want to ruin your manicure.”

“Really?” said Adam, crowding up to him. “My nail polish? C’mon, Supersmart, you can do better than that.”

“Adam,” said Sauli again.

“I can,” said Professor Lambert. “But frankly making you cry got old after the fourth or fifth time.”

Adam clenched his hand into a fist, started to raise his arm. “You son of a-”

“Adam!” said Sauli, and pushed his chair back so it squeaked loudly against the floor. Both Adams looked at him like they’d completely forgotten he was there, which was even more annoying. “You know, there are a lot of boys in the world who don’t make me watch them have boring fights with their evil twin.”

Adam put his hand down again, looking a little guilty. “But you don’t like them as much as you like me,” he said, sounding less sure of himself with every word. “Right?”

“For now,” Sauli said darkly. He pointed his finger at Professor Lambert. “And you! It’s your fault you’re here in the first place. If you think everything here is so stupid then why can’t you melt a hole in someone else’s wall?”

“I did!” said Professor Lambert, eyeing Adam warily as he wriggled out from between him and the fridge. “There are an infinite number of universes; I could access any one of them. In fact I have, many times.”

“Then why do you keep coming back _here_?” Adam said, exasperated.

“You’re my favorite,” said the Professor, and when Adam glared at him, he only grinned.

“Say sorry,” Sauli ordered him. “That was really mean, what you said.”

“For you?” Professor Lambert swooped in suddenly and grabbed Sauli’s hand, raising it to his lips and kissing the back of it before Sauli even knew what was happening. “Anything,” the Professor said with a wink, and sauntered out of the kitchen, tossing an off-handed, “Sorry,” in Adam’s direction as he left.

“I hate,” said Adam very clearly, “that guy.”

“Don’t say that.” Sauli went over and sat in his lap, chasing Adam’s mouth until Adam relented and gave him a kiss.

“What if he’s stuck here forever?” Adam moaned, tucking his head into the crook of Sauli’s neck.

“He won’t be,” Sauli said. “He will find a way.”

“Because he’s a genius,” Adam said grumpily.

Sauli shook his head. “Because he’s you, Aatu.”

Adam grinned despite himself. “I love it when you call me that.”

“I know,” said Sauli, laughing. “It’s silly though.”

“I like silly things.”

“Anyway,” said Sauli, “I think you are the same person in some ways. And don’t you always keep working for what you want?”

Adam kind of rolled his eyes. “I guess,” he said. He slid his hand under Sauli’s shirt. “Ugh. I have to go to work today, too.”

“Me too,” said Sauli. “Do you think he will stay indoors if you ask him?”

“I absolutely do not,” said Adam, and then there was a crashing sound, followed by the Professor yelling,

“Do _not_ tell me you people still use _razors_!” from somewhere upstairs.

“Why me?” said Adam, and hid his face in Sauli’s neck again.

***

Professor Lambert spent most of the next few days trying and failing to make the portal open up again using only objects he could find in Adam’s house. Sauli spent his time working on Tutka and trying to keep Katri from finding out that Adam had an evil twin, and Adam, when he wasn’t in the studio, spent it growing a goatee to match Professor Lambert’s so it wouldn’t be such a big deal if he was seen.

“Good idea,” said Professor Lambert, looking up from his tinfoil, rubber bands, and lightbulbs. “Don’t want the press figuring it out.”

Adam laughed and shook his head. “It’s the army of crazy Sherlocks following me on Twitter I’m worried about.” He squinted at himself in the shiny surface of the toaster. “Fuck, this patch right here on the left always takes forever to fill out.”

“It’s a bitch,” the Professor agreed. “Don’t color it yet, it’ll be even more obvious.”

“I know that,” said Adam crossly. “I have had facial hair before, thank you.”

“Who could forget the Great Sideburns Experiment of Yore?”

“That you _shaved off while I slept_.”

“That was for your own good,” Professor Lambert said firmly. “And in my defense, I only shaved one of them off before you woke up. You did the other one yourself.”

“I hate you so much,” said Adam, dropping his head into his hands.

“I know,” said Professor Lambert fondly, and picked his rubber band-lightbulb-tinfoil contraption up gently. “All right, thirty-seventh time lucky, boys.”

“Onnea,” Sauli said, and Professor Lambert switched one of the lightbulbs on.

Nothing happened for a moment. Then there was a light hissing sound, followed by a gentle _pop_.

The lightbulb went out again.

“Shit,” said Professor Lambert, and sat back down.

***

The next evening, Sauli came back to Adam’s house with a touch of sunburn, a giant stuffed chihuahua Katri had somehow tricked him into buying but then didn’t want to take it back to the hotel herself, and a deep desire to get into a) a shower, and b) Adam.

“Adam?” he called when he got inside, but there was no answer. Maybe Adam wasn’t back from the studio yet. Sauli dumped the chihuahua and his bag by the front door, and made his way into the kitchen.

Professor Lambert was there, slumped face-down over the kitchen table, surrounded by all his bits and pieces.

“Guess he fell asleep at his work,” said Adam from the doorway, making Sauli jump.

“You scared me,” Sauli said.

“I’m sorry, baby.” Adam came and took Sauli in his arms, leaning down to kiss his mouth. “Hi.”

“Hi,” said Sauli. He touched Adam’s face. “You colored your beard.”

“Yup,” said Adam. “I can only stand the clashing for so long.”

“It looks good,” Sauli told him.

“Thanks,” said Adam, and kissed him again.

Adam didn’t stop kissing him, not until they were up against the counter and Sauli was scrambling up to get his legs around Adam’s waist. Adam moaned into his mouth, big hands sliding and grasping under Sauli’s clothes, pulling him closer.

“Thought about this all day,” Adam told him, moving down to mouth at Sauli’s neck, bite down over the tattoo. “You’re so beautiful. Don’t know how I kept my hands off you.”

“When did you?” Sauli laughed, then gasped when Adam sucked his earlobe into his mouth.

Adam nibbled with his teeth before he drew back enough to nuzzle at Sauli’s jaw. “I’m sure there were at least five minutes here or there.”

Sauli squeezed his thighs tight around Adam, making him gasp and thrust up. “Let’s go upstairs.”

“What, you don’t want to have sex with my unconscious double in the room?” Adam teased, stepping back. He helped Sauli down off the counter and led him by the hand to the bedroom.

Sauli really did need a shower, and of course that meant Adam wanted to come in with him. He insisted on washing Sauli’s hair, too, which felt amazing, so Sauli wasn’t going to complain. Then he lathered his hands up and started moving them over Sauli’s wet skin.

Sauli hummed and relaxed into his touch. “Sometimes I think you would like to do everything for me,” he said, voice echoing oddly in Adam’s giant shower. “Dress me, order my food...”

“I would, kind of,” Adam mused, sweeping his hands down Sauli’s arms to rinse him off. “But not all the time. I like a man with a little fight in him.”

Sauli put his fists up and narrowed his eyes. “I have fight.”

Adam laughed delightedly and grabbed both of Sauli’s hands, using his grip to pull Sauli closer. “So fight me,” he said, and kissed him.

Sauli played along, squirming in Adam’s grip, making him chase Sauli up against the opposite wall. He dodged and skipped around to Adam’s back, shoving and trying to pin him against the tiles, but Adam’s long limbs helped him twist around and make a grab for Sauli’s waist.

Sauli spun out of reach, his foot skidding on the slippery shower floor so he tipped over backwards, flailing around in mid-air for a second before Adam caught him, and held him safely against his chest.

“Careful,” he said in Sauli’s ear, and Sauli pushed back against him, rubbing his ass deliberately against Adam’s cock. Adam shivered and ground against him, and Sauli took advantage of his momentary distraction to shove him back and make a grab for the shower door.

“Cheater!” Adam yelled after him, as Sauli raced, laughing, into the bedroom. Adam was right on his heels, heavy tread bearing down on Sauli, who managed to dodge around the bed and dart towards the door before Adam caught him, picked him up, and tossed him onto the bed like he weighed nothing at all.

Sauli scrambled up against the pillows but made no move to cover himself up, instead letting his limbs fall against the covers as Adam stalked towards the bed. “You got me,” Sauli said, breathless already.

“Yes I do,” Adam agreed, raking his eyes over Sauli’s body. “And now what am I going to do with you, hmm?”

He reached the bed and crawled onto it, moving until he was poised on his hands and knees over Sauli’s body. “You,” he said, voice dropping lower than it ever did when he was speaking normally, “are a very bad boy.”

“Yes I am,” Sauli agreed, grinning so hard his face hurt. “You’re not going to punish me, are you?”

“Maybe I should,” said Adam. “Maybe you deserve it.”

Sauli shivered and spread out even further, tipping his head back to expose his throat. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m not sure,” said Adam thoughtfully. His wet hair was flopping kind of crazily around his flushed, freckled face. There were still water droplets clinging to his bare skin, and Sauli could feel the heat coming off him, feel everywhere that Adam wasn’t touching yet, everywhere Sauli wanted him to. “Maybe I’ll spank you,” Adam went on idly. “Maybe I’ll make you wait to come until you’re begging for it. Or maybe I won’t touch you at all.”

“No!” said Sauli, and pushed up enough to pull Adam down, get his weight pushing Sauli into the bed and their bodies pressed together skin-to-skin, all the way down. “Touch me, Adam, please touch me, need you to, want you so much, so beautiful, Adam, please.”

“Yeah, okay,” Adam groaned, and then the door to the bedroom crashed open and in strode –

“Adam?” Sauli said, blinking at the very _not_ black hair on his face.

“Adam,” Adam confirmed. He yanked Professor Lambert off Sauli, pinned him against the mattress with one hand and clamped the other one around his throat. “Take,” he said through gritted teeth. “Your hands. Off. My boyfriend.”

Mouth opening and closing like a fish, Professor Lambert raised both hands up by his head, shaking them kind of frantically, like _see?_

“Oh my God,” said Sauli, scrambling to cover himself with the blankets. “Oh my God!”

“I will _kill_ you,” Adam seethed at the Professor. “You touch him again and I swear to God I will _end your life_.”

Professor Lambert looked like maybe he was trying to nod, but Adam was pressing his head down too hard into the mattress. Also he was turning purple.

“Adam,” said Sauli hesitantly, “you’re choking him.”

“Good!” Adam yelled, but then let go and staggered a few paces back, running his hands through his hair while the Professor flailed around and gasped like a fish. Adam turned on Sauli. “How _could_ you?”

“I thought he was you!” Sauli protested.

“His goatee is a completely different color from mine!” Adam yelled, gesturing wildly.

“He said he’d dyed it!”

“ _You_ said I’d dyed it,” Professor Lambert said, voice a little raspy but face less purple now. “I just agreed with you.”

“Mother _fucker_ ,” said Adam, and punched Professor Lambert in the face. “You fucking drugged me!”

Professor Lambert rolled around on the bed, clutching his face and moaning – no, he was laughing. God, he was so weird. “It was only a mild sedative,” he said to Adam, holding a hand out when it looked like Adam might punch him again. “Would you calm down?”

“Calm down?” Adam said incredulously. “You poisoned me and violated my boyfriend and you want me to calm down?”

“He didn’t seem to be complaining,” the Professor smirked.

“I thought you were Adam!” Sauli cried, and now he punched the Professor too.

“Ow, fuck!” Professor Lambert clutched his shoulder and scrambled over to the other side of the bed. “Christ, the last one wasn’t nearly this violent.”

“Drake never got tricked into having sex with you,” said Adam, folding his arms. “Jesus, I can’t believe Danielle feels _sorry_ for you.”

“Aww,” said the Professor. “Dani’s sweet.”

“Yeah, well, I doubt she’ll be singing your praises after I tell her about this.” Adam’s face was bright red and his hands were shaking – Sauli wanted to go to him, but he wasn’t sure of his welcome.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Adam, I didn’t know.”

Adam seemed to deflate, suddenly, and sat heavily down on the uncomfortable chair by the wall. “Why do you do this?” he said tiredly. “The way you tell it, you got the whole of your own world at your feet. Why do you want to take what’s mine?”

Something flashed across Professor Lambert’s face, gone as quick as it arrived. “Evil twin,” he said lightly. “Isn’t that what we do?”

“That’s not it,” Sauli interrupted. “You were thinking something else.”

The Professor caught Sauli’s eye for a moment, but then looked away, smirking. “You’re hot, and I wanted to get laid,” he said, reaching for the pants - _Adam’s_ pants – that he’d been wearing earlier and tugging them on. “Simple as that.”

“That’s bull,” said Adam. “I’m _famous_ , okay, if you wanted to put your dick in something and fuck me over in the process you could have walked into any club in West Hollywood and hit on the nearest hot guy with a cameraphone.”

“Where would be the elegance in that?” Professor Lambert put his shirt back on and sauntered over to Adam, hip cocked, head held high. “You forget that I know you. I know every way there is to make you lose your mind.”

“I know me too,” said Adam, meeting the Professor’s gaze. “And I don’t think this is about getting laid at all.”

“Yeah, why don’t you share your theory with the class, dropout?”

“I think,” said Adam clearly, “that you wanted him to look at you the way he looks at me.”

There was a pause. Professor Lambert’s face went an interesting shade of purple, followed by a wash of sickly white. His jaw clenched. He said, “Like I even want your sloppy seconds,” with an unconvincing toss of his head, and then marched out of the room.

Adam reached out to close the door. As soon as Sauli heard it snick shut he was up, yanking on his underwear and rushing over to grab Adam’s hands and blurt out, “Sorry, Adam, I’m sorry, I didn’t know, you believe me, right?”

“Baby,” said Adam, and brought him in for a hug. Sauli burrowed against Adam’s chest, clinging on with his hands. Adam said, “It’s so not your fault. I’m not mad at you. I shouldn’t have yelled, I’m so sorry, it was just seeing you with someone else-”

“I didn’t _know_ it was someone else,” Sauli fretted.

“I know!” said Adam, cuddling him closer. “God, Sauli, are you okay?”

“I feel gross,” said Sauli. When Adam tried to tip his face up, Sauli hid it against Adam’s shoulder.

Adam cupped his hand protectively over the back of Sauli’s head. “Sweetie. He didn’t...hurt you, or anything?”

“No.” Sauli rubbed his face against Adam’s shirt, then peeped up at him. “He was – well, I thought he was you. He was like you.”

A muscle clenched in Adam’s jaw. “So you enjoyed it.”

Sauli looked away. “At the time.”

Adam’s hands tightened on Sauli’s hips. “What happened, exactly?”

“You said you weren’t mad.”

“Not at you,” Adam said, and leaned down to kiss him softly. “There’s no reason for me to be, at all. But I need to know.”

Sauli would rather throw himself under a bus than get into details, but Adam was waiting, staring intently, so Sauli sighed and said, “I came home and we started kissing in the kitchen – oh God!”

“What?”

“You were passed out at the table, I thought you were him, you were _right there_ and I was – did he hurt you?” Sauli let his hands move frantically over Adam’s shoulders, the back of his head. “You said he gave you drugs? How?”

“I let him make the coffee,” Adam said, rolling his eyes. “He was bitching and bitching that I didn’t do it right and I thought, you know, what harm can it do, right?”

“He could have killed you.”

“He likes pissing me off too much to get rid of me,” Adam said, smiling slightly. “Go on. Tell me what happened.”

“We came upstairs – into the bathroom, I needed to shower,” Sauli went on awkwardly, avoiding Adam’s eyes. “He came in with me and we started kissing and stuff.”

“And stuff,” said Adam, in a tight, controlled voice.

Sauli winced. “Then he chased me into the bedroom.”

“He _chased_ you?” Adam said incredulously. “You were trying to get away?”

“No – like a game,” Sauli said. “And then he caught me, and he put me on the bed, and then – then you came in.”

He didn’t think Adam needed to know about the bad boy-punishment-spanking conversation. Sauli loved spanking. He didn’t want to put Adam off.

Adam seemed to be struggling with himself, hands opening and closing convulsively, face still pretty red. Sauli took his hand and tugged him over to the bed, pushing and pulling until they were curled up together and Adam relaxed minutely, running his hands up and down Sauli’s back.

“I want to rip off his arms,” he said.

Sauli kissed his ear.

“Then I want to use his own hand to rip off his dick and feed it to him,” Adam went on, warming to the topic.

“I’ve never seen you angry like that.” Sauli wrapped his leg over Adam’s hip. “You’re really loud when you yell.”

Adam grimaced slightly. “It’s my Aries moon-”

“I don’t think it’s to do with any moon,” said Sauli. _Real or imaginary_ , he did not add.

“I can’t handle when people I love are in danger,” Adam said. He looked hard into Sauli’s eyes. “It’s just how I am.”

“I know,” said Sauli. He kissed Adam’s mouth. “I like it.”

Adam smiled slightly, leaning in to rest his forehead against Sauli’s. “You hit him too.”

“Uh huh.”

“It was kind of hot,” Adam confessed. “Is that weird?”

“Probably,” said Sauli. “But it’s a weird situation.”

They lay quietly for a while, cuddling and touching. Adam said, “What are you thinking?”

“If he’s ok,” said Sauli honestly. There was no point in lying. Adam hated lying.

He seemed to hate Sauli’s answer too, though. “You feel sorry for him too, don’t you?” he complained, sitting up. “You want me to leave you alone with him? Maybe I can call Danielle and you guys can really get the Evil Adam Appreciation Society going.”

“You know I don’t mean it like that,” said Sauli, rolling his eyes. He sat up too, putting his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “Adam, when I met you it was so suddenly that I started to really care about you. I can’t help it.”

“But I’m not evil!” Adam cried.

“No,” said Sauli. He got up on his knees and took Adam’s face in his hands. “But you are happy. And he’s not. And if I see you when you’re unhappy, it makes me upset.”

Adam didn’t reply, just watched him.

Sauli said, “If there was another one of me, and he was sad, how would you feel?”

Adam sighed and brought his hands up to cover Sauli’s. “Like I wanted to take care of him,” he said resignedly.

“So,” said Sauli, and kissed him.

They got off the bed and made their way to the door – but Adam stopped them and pulled Sauli around to face him.

“You know I started falling for you like thirty seconds after you told me your name,” he said. He cupped his hands around Sauli’s face, over his ears like on the first night. “I guess I can’t blame him for feeling the same, even if he is being a huge jerk about it.”

Sauli turned his head enough to press a kiss to Adam’s thumb. “I love you,” he said quietly, carefully because it was still new.

Adam beamed at him, smile so big his eyes squinched up at the corners. “I love you too.”

“Good,” said Sauli. “Now let’s go and find your evil other self.”

 

They found Professor Lambert sitting in Adam’s living room, curled up in a corner of the couch. All the lights were off.

“You’re so fucking emo,” said Adam, and turned on the lamp.

“I hate this universe’s vocabulary,” said Professor Lambert. He stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“I forgive you,” said Adam. “ _Not_.”

“Not you,” said Professor Lambert irritably. “I was talking to Sauli.”

“Oh,” said Adam. He held Sauli tightly against his side. “Well.”

“Go on,” said Sauli.

The Professor didn’t really look at him, letting his eyes slide around somewhere near Sauli’s shoulder. “Despite the current evidence to the contrary, I usually prefer to stay down the ‘dastardly deeds’ end of the evil spectrum,” he said. “I would never – consent is actually something I insist on, usually. Always, in fact.”

He wrung his hands in front of his chest, then ran them through his hair, then started fiddling with the gauge in his left ear. “I feel terrible,” he confessed, meeting Sauli’s eyes finally. “I don’t know what I was - I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Sauli said.

Adam and the Professor both blinked at him. “It is?” they said at the same time.

“Yeah,” said Sauli. He shrugged when Adam looked at him incredulously. “I know it probably shouldn’t be, but it’s how I feel.”

Adam didn’t look convinced. “If you say so.”

“I do,” said Sauli. He looked at Professor Lambert. “Thank you for apologizing.”

“You’re welcome,” the Professor said hesitantly.

There was a pause. Then Adam said, “Now would be a great time to apologies for drugging me, by the way.”

“I didn’t put anything in your coffee,” the Professor said, the contrition on his face melting away to definite amusement. “All I did was switch our mugs when you weren’t looking. Or should I say, I switched them _back_.”

“...oh,” said Adam.

“Adam!” Sauli gaped at him.

“I just wanted him to shut up!” Adam said defensively. “Take a nap, whatever, just _stop talking_.”

“I’m actually kind of impressed,” said the Professor, grinning. “You’re less useless than I thought.”

“Gee,” said Adam. “Shucks.”

Professor Lambert laughed, rocking on his heels a little bit. Then he clapped his hands together and said briskly, “All right! I think I need to get out of here before one of us actually kills the other.”

“You can’t-” Adam started, but the Professor held up a hand.

“I know. I figure I’ll strip the black out of my hair, buzz it real short, grow a giant ginger beard and start wearing...I don’t know, football jerseys or something.”

Adam made a face. “Gross.”

“Yeah,” said the Professor. “But it’s not forever, right? It won’t be hard to magic up an identity for myself, academic records...” he started pacing around the living room, ticking things off on his fingers. “I’ll find a university; there’s gotta be someone doing similar research even if it’s not so advanced. I can share what I already know and it shouldn’t be too long before – ooh, maybe I can get a Nobel Prize in this universe too!”

“Teleporters?” said Adam hopefully.

“Not while you people are still using electricity,” Professor Lambert scoffed, and then he stopped, standing in front of the clock on Adam’s wall, the one with the date display in the center. “It’s Sunday,” he said.

Sauli looked uncertainly at Adam. “It is.”

Professor Lambert turned and sat back on the couch, his shoulders slumped. He looked up at them, wearing an expression that Sauli recognized completely as one of Adam’s: eyes huge, mouth turned down at the corner, brows pinched together.

“Neil calls on Sundays,” he said. “Neil calls on Sundays and I won’t be there.”

Sauli was halfway to the couch before he knew his legs were moving. He stopped himself in time, took two steps back to Adam, then whirled and moved towards Professor Lambert again, then stopped and moved back towards Adam and then just turned in a frustrated circle for a while, which probably looked really stupid but he couldn’t work out if Adam really understood that Sauli couldn’t see him, any version of him, in distress without wanting to make it better.

“It’s all right,” Adam said just as Sauli was starting to go dizzy, and Sauli dived gratefully onto the couch and grabbed Professor Lambert into a hug.

The Professor was stiff in Sauli’s arms. He didn’t seem to know quite what to do with a hug, which was unexpected because Adam was like, champion super-hugger extraordinaire, it was one of Sauli’s favorite things about him.

“Put your arms around me,” Sauli instructed. “No, tighter. Squeeze me a little.”

Professor Lambert obeyed, although it was kind of like getting hugged by a tree. “Now what,” he said.

“Now feel better,” Sauli ordered.

Nothing happened for a minute. The Professor looked like he was concentrating on not doing it wrong, which was rather beside Sauli’s point.

Adam said, “For God’s sake, you’re so fucking defective,” and came and sat behind Sauli on the couch. “Like this,” he said, and slid his arms around Sauli’s waist, snuggling in close and laying his head on Sauli’s shoulder.

Professor Lambert eyed them both critically, frowning, then mimicked Adam’s posture, laying his head on Sauli’s other shoulder.

“It’s okay,” said Sauli, and kissed the side of his face. “It’s going to be okay.”

“....because we’re doing this?” the Professor said doubtfully.

Sauli gave Adam a look. Adam raised his eyebrows, like, _this was your stupid idea_. Sauli said, “It’s just what you say to make someone feel better.”

“Oh,” said the Professor. He was still so tense in Sauli’s arms – Sauli stroked down his back and brought his other hand up to tug at his hair, gently. Adam and the Professor weren’t that different, then, because it worked like a charm and Professor Lambert sighed and went all heavy and warm.

It was beyond nice. Getting to cuddle with one Adam Lambert had already wiped out Sauli’s luck stores for the rest of his life, he was pretty sure, but two of them at once? Amazing. He wondered vaguely if he should feel bad about liking it, but he was only human, and currently wrapped up in a snuggle with two of his boyfriend. Adam couldn’t blame him, surely?

Hmm, though. Adam was probably still upset about the accidental naked kissing. “You’ll find a way to get back,” Sauli said to Professor Lambert, to distract himself. “A way to get back to Neil.”

“I hope so,” said the Professor, muffled. “He’s an idiot hippie, but he’s the only-” he broke off and pressed closer, letting out a long, heavy breath.

Sauli said, “Sshhh,” and stroked his hair. He turned his head to face Adam, who was watching with his chin propped on Sauli’s shoulder. Sauli made a sad face at him. Adam kind of smushed his mouth up in response, and Sauli moved enough that they could kiss.

Professor Lambert made a small noise, and Sauli felt him start to pull away. He hung on determinedly and kept kissing Adam, locking his arm around the Professor to keep him in place. When the kiss broke, Sauli turned to find the Professor watching closely. His hands clenched against Sauli’s back and he stared wildly into Sauli’s eyes.

Adam nudged Sauli’s cheek with his nose. “You can kiss him if you want to,” he whispered, and then to Professor Lambert, sternly: “ _Just_ kiss.”

Professor Lambert didn’t make a face or a smart remark or anything, just nodded eagerly and leaned in to meet Sauli’s lips with his own.

It was strange: now Sauli knew he was kissing someone else, he expected it to be different. But it wasn’t, it was just like before, just like Adam. He knew it wasn’t, and even if he’d been confused, Adam was being sure to make his presence extremely known behind Sauli, with his big hands sliding down Sauli’s arms and his lips on Sauli’s throat.

But still. They kissed the same way. Exactly the same way.

Adam touched Sauli’s chin after a while and turned his face enough to take his own kiss. Professor Lambert was fully relaxed in Sauli’s arms now and he was a warm, heavy weight against Sauli’s front. Sauli let Adam tip his head back for better access, pressing back against Adam’s chest, loving being sandwiched between them.

At some point they moved to the bedroom – not for sex, Sauli knew that wasn’t on the menu. And he was pretty sure Professor Lambert knew it too, although Adam felt the need to spell it out.

“I see those hands wandering, I’m cutting them off,” he warned as they shuffled around on the bed, fitting together.

“I’ll bet he’s always this bossy,” Professor Lambert murmured in Sauli’s ear. Sauli grinned and nodded. The Professor laughed under his breath. “And you love it.”

“I do,” Sauli said, opening his arms. The Professor came willingly and snuggled in without prompting, sliding his arms around Sauli. Sauli murmured to him, nonsense mostly, assurances that things would work out, that he would get home.

They stayed that way for a long time. At some point Sauli turned over and let the Professor hold him that way, while Sauli kissed Adam’s cheeks and nose and eyelids and mouth, and slid his hands over everything he could reach.

Later, while Adam was in the bathroom, Professor Lambert drew Sauli back against his chest and put his lips on his ear.

“There are worse ones than me,” he said quietly.

“What?” said Sauli.

“Much worse.” The Professor’s arm tightened around Sauli’s waist. “Don’t tell him.”

Sauli promised, “I won’t.”

Professor Lambert paused, then said, “You don’t want to know if there are better ones than him?”

“I don’t need to ask,” Sauli said.

***

When Sauli woke up, the bed was empty.

He rolled over, stretching his arms and legs out and enjoying being able to take more than a fifth of the bed – Sauli was crazy about Adam but the boy did not know how to share a mattress – then curled back up on his other side. He grabbed Adam’s pillow and hugged it under his head, settling down to watch the scene unfolding through the open door to the bathroom.

Adam was perched on the counter, with Professor Lambert standing between his legs. Their goatees were the same color, now, the only way Sauli could tell them apart was that Adam was wearing only a towel and the necklace Sauli had given him for his birthday.

“You’re all done,” said Professor Lambert, wiping at Adam’s chin with a towel.

Adam twisted around to look at himself in the mirror, exposing the long, gorgeous line of his back to Sauli’s eyes. “Nice,” he said approvingly, and ran a hand over his jaw. “Thanks.”

“Any time.” The Professor busied himself washing his hands and cleaning up the counter a little, while Adam sat quietly, watching him. “What?” said Professor Lambert.

Adam kind of shrugged, just one shoulder moving slightly. His feet swung around, heels bumping against the cabinet under the sink. “Are you gonna shave yours off?”

“I better, if I want to start from scratch,” the Professor said glumly.

“Can I try something first?” Adam said hopefully.

The Professor eyed Adam warily. “What kind of something?”

“Just something I’ve been considering,” Adam said, and hopped down off the counter. He patted it for the Professor to take his place. “I figure I can try it on you and if it looks ridiculous it doesn’t matter ‘cause we’re shaving the whole thing off anyway.”

“This is revenge for the sideburns thing, isn’t it?” said Professor Lambert, but he sat on the counter and let Adam go at him with the trimmer.

“This is gonna be awesome,” Adam said gleefully.

“Is it,” said the Professor. He was quiet while Adam worked for a minute. Then, “I meant what I said.”

“Can you narrow it down?”

“About you being my favorite.” The Professor cleared his throat, looking up to the ceiling. “This life you have.”

“It can be like this for you too!” said Adam immediately. He tilted the Professor’s face so he could get at the other side of his chin. “You can have this.”

The Professor rolled his eyes. “Please. You know I couldn’t carry a tune in a titanium pail.”

“But you can do other stuff,” Adam insisted. “You could use that brain of yours for the common good, invent something awesome-”

“I invented teleporters!”

“You could make people’s lives better. So much better. What about those people who are all in quarantine, right? What’s the point of being a super-genius if you don’t do shit about it?”

“God,” said Professor Lambert. “You sound just like Neil.”

“Yeah, well, speaking of,” said Adam, putting the trimmer down and picking up the shaving gel, “you’re gonna be there for him, right? I mean, he’s gonna need somewhere to crash when he realizes that cult is completely stupid.”

“You think he will?”

“He’s still Neil,” Adam said dryly. He picked up his razor. “He’ll realize.”

Professor Lambert hummed, but didn’t open his mouth, probably because Adam was wielding a sharp object with great enthusiasm right next to it.

Adam had his tongue tucked in the corner of his mouth, his eyebrows drawn together in concentration. It was too cute to stand, and Sauli had to press a fold of sheet against his mouth to keep from making some kind of ridiculous noise.

He couldn’t really see what Adam was doing to Professor Lambert’s face, so he just settled for admiring his bare chest and belly, and vaguely willing the towel around Adam’s hips to fall down.

“I’m just saying you don’t have to be the same person your whole life,” Adam went on, rinsing the razor under the faucet. “You could let the Lex Luthor shtick go.”

“Lex Luthor is cool.”

Adam raised an eyebrow. “I think Superman is cooler.”

“Of course you do,” Professor Lambert said.

Adam chuckled under his breath. He said, “You could call Mom and Dad.”

“They’re not like yours,” said the Professor. Quietly, but something about it made Adam nod and drop the subject.

“All right!” he said, and grabbed the towel to wipe the Professor’s face off with a flourish. “Ta-dah!”

The Professor got down off the counter and stood next to Adam, looking in the mirror. Adam had carved out the sides of the Professor’s goatee, so now he had kind of a vase-shaped strip running down the center of his chin, as well as the mustache curving down over the sides of his mouth. He looked kind of like a magician. A slightly evil magician.

“Fuck,” said Professor Lambert. “I can’t believe I have to shave this off!”

“Awesome, right?” said Adam, doing a little bouncy dance from foot to foot. “I knew it! I am totally doing that to myself.”

“This is so unfair,” said the Professor, and then both he and Adam grabbed for the counter, twin expressions of shock on their faces, and Sauli pushed up on his elbow to see the bathroom floor going all swirly.

It was so weird, just like an effect in a movie, but right here in the house. Sauli must have yelped in surprise or something, because Adam looked up, and kind of stumbled forwards, almost right into the centre of the floor-whirlpool until the Professor grabbed him and shoved him bodily into the bedroom.

“Try not to be so evil all the time!” Adam called hurriedly to Professor Lambert.

“Try to fucking win something!” the Professor called back. Adam gave him the finger, and the Professor laughed. “Helsinki, right?” he said to Sauli, and then he was gone.

“Well,” said Sauli.

“Well!” said Adam, and then his towel did fall down off his hips, so basically it was a great day for everyone.

When the whirlpool had completely disappeared, Adam came and sat on the edge of the bed. He was still naked. It was great.

Sauli said, “How come you have the same tattoos? Isn’t it strange that he would get an Eye of Horus?”

“That’s what I thought,” said Adam. “But he said it was much weirder that I would get anything to do with mathematics.”

Sauli bit down on a giggle. “He’s so mean.”

“Eh,” said Adam. “He has a point.”

Adam went quiet then, but not regular, tired or comfortable quiet. Quiet like he was thinking something that wasn’t sure he should say.

“Tell,” said Sauli.

“It’s just,” said Adam, and blushed slightly before blurting out, “I just need you to tell me you didn’t like him better.”

“What?” said Sauli. “Adam, of course not!”

“He’s so smart and all...”Adam trailed off, worrying at the edge of the sheet with his fingertips.

Sauli took his hand and kissed it. “He’s smart,” he agreed. “And he’s sexy like you. But he’s not so sweet, or silly, and he can’t sing, and he doesn’t love the way you do.”

“Kiss me,” said Adam, so Sauli did, wrapping his arms around Adam’s neck and holding on until his heart had stopped rabbiting in his chest.

“I don’t like to think that he’s alone, though,” Sauli whispered when the kiss broke.

“Me neither,” said Adam. He looked sad for a minute, then brightened. “But maybe now he knows where you’re from he can go find your evil twin!”

Sauli thought about it. He didn’t _feel_ like he had an evil twin – except for his actual sister of course – but then, he supposed Adam hadn’t felt like that either, until the Professor showed up.

“Maybe,” he said.

Adam nodded to himself. “I think so,” he said. “I think he will.”

“Also,” said Sauli, “I think your dick is bigger.”

“It is, right?” said Adam immediately, worries forgotten. “I knew it! In your face, evil twin.”

“In _my_ face,” said Sauli.

“If you insist,” Adam said, not skipping a beat, and they both giggled.

“I’m just glad I don’t have to leave you here with him while I am in New York,” Sauli said. “I think you might have killed each other.”

“Count on it,” Adam said, then pouted. “I’m going to miss you. Do you really have to go?”

“I do,” Sauli said. He tucked a piece of Adam’s hair behind his ear.

“But we could just pretend you’re in New York,” Adam said. “We’ll make a background and you guys can just stand in front of it. Like in Wayne’s World.”

Sauli laughed, imagining it. “You can dress up as a hot dog vendor.”

“And yell at you for standing in the middle of the sidewalk.”

“Can you do the accent?”

“Of course!” Adam said, and started saying something about...ladders falling? Sauli didn’t know. It sounded like Adam’s regular voice to him, but he didn’t say that.

He said, “You’re coming too in a few days. It won’t be long. You need to work too, right?”

“Yeah,” Adam said reluctantly. He gathered Sauli in close, rocking him a little. “I just don’t like to be away from you.”

“I know, Aatu,” said Sauli. Adam’s fingers moved restlessly in Sauli’s hair. “You okay now?”

“Yeah,” said Adam, unconvincingly.

“You want to call Neil?”

“Yes,” said Adam, and laughed. “Is that stupid? I know he probably hasn’t joined a moon-calf cult, but-”

“Go,” Sauli said, and Adam kissed him quickly before reaching over to grab his cell phone.

“Hey, little brother,” he said after a minute. “Eat anything disgusting today?”

There was a pause, then Adam burst out laughing and stood up. “Oh my god,” he said, padding out of the room. “You did _not_.”

Sauli reached for his own phone. He wouldn’t call just yet, but he scrolled through the pictures he had in there, of his parents, his sisters, the kids. His friends. Katri. Adam.

It was strange to think of a universe in which he might not be himself. He wondered if the others were different too, the people he loved. If they didn’t have a Sauli, did they know there was something missing? Did he know the same people over there at all? Did they have Big Brother over there? Had the other Sauli been on it? Maybe not, if he was an evil genius. It didn’t seem like the kind of thing an evil genius would do.

His other self didn’t know Adam, anyway, which was terrible, Sauli felt awful for him just on the basis of that.

Adam came back in while Sauli was still thinking about it. “Neil says hi.”

“Hi Neil,” said Sauli automatically. He reached for Adam as he got back into bed.

“What are you thinking about?” Adam wanted to know.

“That I’m very lucky to be in this universe,” said Sauli.

“Sauli,” said Adam, and caught his mouth in a kiss.

Sauli wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck and kissed back happily. He was still kind of revved up from earlier, and then there had been all the semi-naked cuddling, and he and Adam hadn’t actually had sex for like forty-eight hours for Professor-based reasons. It was the longest they’d gone when they weren’t separated by a stupid ocean and Sauli was pretty desperate for it, especially because he still had the memory of Adam’s face when he’d found Sauli with the Professor.

Adam’s hair was all soft, product-free like it hardly ever was. Sauli sunk his hands into it, wrapped a thick lock around his finger. “You dried all curly,” he mumbled against Adam’s mouth.

“You too,” Adam said, tugging at Sauli’s hair. “We are soooo hot right now, oh my god.”

Sauli cracked up, rolling his head on the pillow. Adam went, “Fuck, your laugh,” and darted his hand down to trail over the sensitive skin above Sauli’s hip.

“No!” Sauli yelped and tried to squirm away, but Adam was bigger and heavier and pinned him down with one hand, tickling him with the other. “Stop!” Sauli cried, but Adam wouldn’t, and Sauli thrashed around, laughing helplessly.

“Why would I stop?” Adam laughed, wiggling his fingers up Sauli’s side and down again.

“I can’t, I can’t,” Sauli gasped, gathering his arms underneath him enough to shove Adam backwards and make a break for freedom.

“Oh no you don’t!” Adam said, grabbing for him, but Sauli eeled out of his grasp and rolled away – but he misjudged and ended up flying over the edge of the bed and thumping down onto the floor.

“Ow,” he said pitifully.

Adam’s head appeared over the side of the bed, his hair even crazier than it was before, plus he was all red in the face from laughing. He looked gorgeous, even upside down. “Baby, you okay?”

“Yeah,” said Sauli, which was a mistake, because Adam launched himself off the bed too and landed on top of Sauli with a triumphant noise.

“I can tickle you down here too, you know,” he said, and Sauli grabbed at his hands and begged him not to. Adam pouted. “But your giggle,” he wheedled. “I like it.”

“Why?” said Sauli, even though he knew.

“It turns me on,” Adam said, waggling his eyebrows.

“I can do other things to turn you on,” Sauli promised.

“You can do a lot of things.” Adam rocked against him, sliding his hands up Sauli’s arms until they were stretched out together, Adam’s fingers locked around Sauli’s wrists. He leaned down for a kiss and Sauli opened to him, sucking eagerly on his tongue and nipping at his lower lip.

“Tell me what I can do for you now,” Sauli murmured.

“Your mouth,” Adam said immediately, and let go of Sauli’s arms so they could get up. Adam sat on the edge of the bed, scooting back a little when Sauli urged him.

Sauli settled on his knees, running his hands up Adam’s thighs. Adam reached up to grab a couple of pillows, stuffing them under his head so he could look down and watch. Sauli kissed and touched the soft skin on the insides of Adam’s thighs, mouthing his way up to suck at Adam’s hipbone. Adam sighed and settled a hand in Sauli’s hair, the other coming up to stroke over his own chest.

Sauli loved Adam’s cock, and he was teasing himself as much as Adam by taking his time getting to it. But Adam’s body was too tempting to just pick one thing and go for it. Sauli needed to kiss his belly and stroke the long line of his waist, and squeeze his hips and lick down the crease of his thigh, and get Adam all squirmy and impatient before he gave in.

Adam was really good at being impatient: he said, “Come on, get your mouth on me,” and reached down to jack himself, angling his cock helpfully towards Sauli’s lips.

Sauli laughed and Adam went, “Yeah,” but Sauli didn’t let him win just yet. He ducked down and nuzzled at Adam’s balls, at the soft, hot skin behind them, pressing Adam’s thighs apart with his hands.

“Come _on_ ,” Adam insisted, too breathy to really be commanding, and Sauli took pity on him. He mouthed at the base of Adam’s cock, licking over Adam’s fingers, and then slid up, opening his lips around the head.

Adam moaned in relief and took his hand away, letting Sauli take over. Sauli wrapped both hands around Adam’s cock, squeezing and stroking what he couldn’t get in his mouth. Which was most of it. Sauli loved his life.

He hummed encouragingly when Adam rocked his hips; pulled off long enough to lick him all over and get him wet enough to slip easily through Sauli’s fingers, then went down as far as he could, sucking hard. He loved doing this for Adam, loved the thick, hot weight on his tongue, the soft skin on Adam’s hard cock, the noises Adam made when Sauli swirled his tongue over the head.

Adam’s fingers tightened and released in Sauli’s hair; Sauli hollowed his cheeks and sucked in time with the stroke of his hand, cupping the other around Adam’s balls, drawn up tight against his body.

Adam went, “Christ, Sauli, fuck fuck fuck,” and then started babbling the way he always did when he was really into it. Stuff about how good Sauli was and how crazy Adam was about him and how Adam was, “losing my fucking mind, you make me so fucking – Sauli, Sauli, yes, _yes_.”

Sauli couldn’t get a hand free to touch himself, but he wanted to, Adam’s words were going straight to his dick. He thought about maybe getting up on the bed and suggesting a sixty-nine, but he just didn’t want to stop what he was doing. Adam was so gorgeous like this, writhing around on the bed, clenching his hands in the sheets, then in his own hair, then thumbing at his nipples before reaching down to slide his fingers over Sauli’s cheek and throat and lips where they were stretched around him.

Plus Adam was getting close now, his hips moving quickly in jerky little thrusts, his voice getting higher-pitched, his monologue getting more incoherent until he gasped in a huge breath and stuttered out, “I – I’m gonna come.”

Sauli moaned around Adam’s cock, and squeezed, and Adam pushed up hard and came in Sauli’s mouth, hands like vices on his shoulders. Sauli swallowed and swallowed until Adam was done, then pulled off, resting his head on Adam’s hip and closing his mouth to ease the ache in his jaw. He kept his hand around Adam’s cock, stroking a little and then just cupped there, leaning in to press an affectionate kiss to the head.

“Jesus fuck,” Adam panted, clumsily stroking Sauli’s head. Sauli hummed and rubbed his cheek against Adam’s belly. Adam lay there panting for a few more moments, then tugged at Sauli’s shoulder. “Come up here, baby.”

Sauli went eagerly, kicking out of his underwear as he scrambled up on to the bed. Adam wanted to kiss and hold him first, which was nice, but also, Adam had already come, so he obviously felt differently about cuddling than Sauli did. Sauli indulged him for a moment, but then dragged Adam’s hand down to wrap around his dick.

Adam laughed and stroked him a couple of times. “Oh, _now_ you’re in a hurry.”

“Exactly,” said Sauli, grinning.

“Come on up, then,” said Adam, urging Sauli onto his knees so he could move forward and straddle Adam’s shoulders. “I got you,” Adam said, twinkling up at him, and opened his mouth for Sauli to push his cock inside.

They’d done it like this before, but always with something for Sauli to hold on to, the headboard or the wall. Like this Sauli had no leverage to thrust into Adam’s mouth and had to work to stay upright and still while Adam sucked him.

Sauli panted at the ceiling and clutched at what he could reach: Adam’s shoulders, his knees where he’d drawn his legs to brace his feet on the bed. Adam’s mouth was hot and wet and blissful, his tongue flickering cleverly over the head of Sauli’s cock. Sauli had no choice but to stay where he was and take it; he felt that he would fall, but Adam’s grip on his hips was strong and unwavering.

He was so worked up anyway, and the precariousness was really doing it for him, which was kind of new, but something he was definitely going to explore from now on. He grabbed at Adam’s thigh when his hips snapped forward involuntarily; Adam hummed, encouraging, and then didn’t _stop_ humming, and that was really just it. The vibration and the warmth and Adam’s beautiful face and his beautiful voice – it was all too much to bear and Sauli managed to garble something half-Finnish half-English in warning before crying out and coming in long, hard pulses into Adam’s mouth.

Adam brought him down gently, letting Sauli slip from his mouth only when he was ready, then helping him climb down and collapse on the bed.

“Wow,” said Sauli, nestling as close to Adam as he could.

“I know,” said Adam. He pulled the pillows out from under his neck and let his head rest flat on the bed with a sigh of relief. “Beat that, evil doppelganger.”

“He couldn’t,” said Sauli. “No way.”

Adam made a pleased noise. He was smiling, his eyes closed.

“I think that this must be the best one,” Sauli said. “The best universe. Out of all of them.”

“Me too, baby,” said Adam, and reached for Sauli’s hand. “Me too.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Kiitos (That Was A Good Day)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/201199) by [trycatpennies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trycatpennies/pseuds/trycatpennies)




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